An Apt Pupil
by quarteralien
Summary: Monica's thoughts on being a relationship tutor. A series of one-shots, set in season 5 starting with the One with All the Kips.
1. The Plan

"Welcome to an adult relationship!"

Monica reached out to Chandler, but he hesitated. "We're in a relationship?" he asked.

She smiled sympathetically. "I'm afraid so." This time, Chandler allowed her to pulled him into and hug and a kiss. Then she felt him begin to crumble in her embrace. He let go and doubled over, his hands on his knees, breathing audibly. "You okay?" she asked. He nodded, unconvincingly. "Chandler, what's going on?"

This time, he shook his head. "Nothing," he panted.

"That doesn't look like nothing." she replied, guiding him to the couch. She ran to the fridge and grabbed a bottled water. He accepted it gratefully and drained half of it while she rubbed his back.

After he seemed more settled, he looked at her and grinned sheepishly. "Well, that was embarrassing."

Monica cocked her head to one side. "Want to tell me about it?"

He shrugged and looked down at his hands. "I'm not supposed to go weak in the knees."

She smiled. "I should be flattered by that."

"Are you?"

"Yeah, I think I am. Makes me feel all powerful."

He rolled his eyes. "I guess...I came over here fully prepared to be rejected as usual, and instead you tell me we're okay. I don't know what to do with that."

"Sorry to disappoint you." She took his arm and draped it over her shoulder, then snuggled into him. He pressed a kiss to her temple and sighed contentedly.

Monica found herself rethinking the whole interaction, Chandler's look of apprehension when he first came in, followed by confusion, and finally relieved elation. And all because of her.

Realization came over her in waves. She hadn't added up until then just how much Chandler took his cues from her. Why hadn't she seen it before? How many times through they years had he come to her for guidance? And she reveled in helping him. Only this time, she was playing the dual role of girlfriend as well as mentor. He already trusted her implicitly and was watching her for signs of what to do next. Suddenly, the weight of her influence over him felt heavy. He might do just about anything for her, simply because he believed she was wiser.

Excitement thrilled through her. This was a project unlike any she had ever taken on. Neither Richard nor Pete were one tenth as open to suggestion. Here she had the chance to mold this relationship into something spectacular. She could outdo herself, a prospect that always appealed to her.

Then images of Ross and Rachel's failed relationship flowed through her mind, and one theme stood out: the fact that the other four of them were often caught in the middle, either as unwilling spectators or unwitting participants. Every time they analyzed the relationship, or tried to give advice to either Ross or Rachel, they contributed to a growing dysfunction until finally they were the captive audience for the longest, most painful breakup any of them had ever experienced.

Monica's mind was racing. Now it all made sense. On instinct, she and Chandler had kept their trysts a secret, and she felt determination growing to protect them at all costs. Chandler especially would crack under the stress of constant observance from their well-meaning but interfering friends and their relationship wouldn't stand a chance.

The beginnings of a plan formed in Monica's head. Hers would be a delicate balance, but so far she had done it without even realizing it. Chandler needed security but without pressure. Big steps had to come from him, but she had to let him know that she would accept his advances without suggesting them herself. It would be tough, but she looked forward to the challenge eagerly.

She almost congratulated herself as she thought back to their return from London. When he left to unpack, she almost followed him, but something held her back, in case he turned her down. Thankfully, he hadn't made her wait long before proposing the idea of London time. She was smiling now. Even without conscious thought, she had known what had to be done.

Later, she'd let Chandler be the one to bring up the idea of being exclusive while they waited for Phoebe's babies to be born. That had been a big gamble, and she knew it even at the time. She knew his self-esteem was such that under ordinary circumstances, he would never have attempted to compete with someone like Dan the nurse man. It was a testament to how strongly he felt about her already that he tried at all.

Now here they were, having survived their first big fight, and he was still here, his arms wrapped around her, looking for all the world like this was the only place he wanted to be.

He interrupted her runaway train of thought. "Where did you go?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just now, you look like you've been all kinds of other places, except with me."

"Oh no, no. I was just thinking about us." And it was the truth.

"Yeah? Anything you care to share?"

She smiled up at him. "Have I told you how cute you are?"

Monica decided then and there that she would never tire of his heart-meltingly adorable grin. "You know," he said. "I'm not totally sure. You'd better say it again just in case."

She reached up and kissed him. "You are so cute!"

Later that evening, Monica raced after Chandler and Joey, panicked at how much Joey had really pieced together and how she and Chandler would handle it. Instead, she watched in amazement as with one simple word Chandler admitted to Joey the truth of their situation. She couldn't be prouder. He had taken the first step toward an overt relationship and she hadn't pushed him at all. She eagerly crossed the room into Chandler's arms and, despite Joey's protests, let every ounce of what she felt show in her kiss. This was the start of something beautiful for all of them.


	2. Two Truths and a Lie about London

**A/N:** I think I'll end up skipping around a bit, simply because this was the next muse to grab me. This is the end of The One with Ross's Sandwich.

Monica knew something like this would happen. She knew at some point, she might have to go to great lengths to protect the secret. She thought she was prepared, but when it came right down to it, she felt ill. She replayed the scene in her head, Joey glaring at her, yelling something about the truth and his underwear, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel watching in rapt confusion, and in the background, Chandler waiting anxiously, acknowledging it was out of his hands. Monica knew she had to fall on her sword.

 _"I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants."_

She did feel disgusting. After begging everyone to just let it drop, she fled to her own apartment and went straight to the shower. Joey wasn't revolting, but she'd made herself look quite pathetic in the eyes of those whose opinions mattered to her. Hopefully, they would respect her wishes and not bring it up again. Ever.

When she finally came out of the bathroom, Rachel was sitting on the couch. Monica almost dove back in to avoid her, but that would only delay the inevitable. Oh well. She could at least make it to her bedroom.

"Hey Mon, you got a minute?"

Damn it.

"Sure," Monica replied, reluctantly plopping down on the couch.

Rachel hesitated and then dove in. "Okay, I've just gotta know. Why Joey?"

Monica took a deep breath. This part at least would feel slightly liberating since it was largely true. "Fine. I haven't told anyone all of this. I was feeling totally depressed in London. I hadn't really dated for about a year, and here was Ross getting married. My mother was in rare form the night of the rehearsal dinner. She took every chance to rub in that I was nowhere near getting married. And then this drunk relative of Emily's thought I was Ross's mom. It got to me. I was already feeling old and single, and here someone thought I was even older than that. I just wanted to feel young and pretty again. I wanted just sex. If I couldn't have the whole package, at least I could feel desired, just for one night. And who do we know who is good at sex for just one night? I knew he would say yes and I'd just be one more fling for him. I'd get it out of my system and everything would go back to normal. Only, it didn't quite work out that way." Wow, Monica thought. That actually was the complete truth. And it did feel good.

Rachel watched her sympathetically. "I get it. I probably would have felt the same way." Then in true Rachel fashion, she shifted gears. "So, is Joey your 'new secret boyfriend' you were waiting for that day?"

It took Monica a moment to remember the day Rachel walked in on her waiting for Chandler in a very compromising position. She almost laughed. "No, I promise, there really is a new secret boyfriend."

Rachel didn't look convinced. "Because it almost made sense if Joey was the best you'd ever had. He's definitely had enough experience to know what he's doing."

Monica didn't like where this was headed. "Nope, not him."

"Huh." Rachel was going to be a hard sell. "Well then, how would your new secret boyfriend feel about all this?"

Monica wished herself anywhere but here. "Believe it or not, I think he'll understand."

"But how can he be okay with-wait. Oh, please don't tell me you guys are on a break."

Monica didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or yell. "No, we just... trust me, everything will be fine. Really, Rach, it's been a long day and I'd love to just forget tonight ever happened. Can we do that, please?"

Rachel finally relented. "Alright, just answer me one more thing. How was he?"

Monica smirked. "It turns out you had him figured out a long time ago. He really is like a kiddie ride. Pop in a quarter and off you go."

"I knew it!" Rachel crowed triumphantly. And with that, Monica retreated to her bedroom.

She lay in her bed, whiling away the time until Chandler could sneak over, thinking over her most recent conversation. It was nice to tell Rachel at least part of the truth. As wonderfully exciting as hers and Chandler's relationship was, the secrecy was a bit of a burden. She couldn't confide in anyone. She couldn't share her highs or ask for advice. She felt very alone, and she missed girl talk with Rachel. However, it was playing with fire and she couldn't risk it again.

After what seemed like eternity, she heard her bedroom door open and a soft "Hey."

"Hey, sweetie," she greeted, as he crawled in beside her.

"Oooh, a warm spot." he breathed.

"Just for you." she said, as they settled in together.

"I'm so sorry about tonight." Chandler began. "How are you doing?"

"Well, that fifth shower finally started to do some good."

"Oh, poor Mon." Chandler cooed as he kissed her. "Is Joey really that unappealing to you?"

"No, it's not that. It's just not a great feeling to make yourself look desperate and crazy in front of your brother and best friends."

"Oh." Chandler sounded disappointed. "So he is appealing to you?"

"Huh?"

"Would you have slept with him?"

"WHAT?" Monica answered a little too quickly. "Of course not! But you have to admit it was an easy cover story."

Chandler snickered. "Did you just call Joey easy?"

"Well, if the shoe fits!"

"I don't think we're fitting shoes here."

Monica laughed. "Listen, it might be a good idea if you throw in a joke or two about this over the next few days when we're all together."

She regretted saying it when she felt Chandler flinch. "Alright." he forced out. "I'll see what I can do."

Monica pulled him closer. It was obvious how crushed he would be if he ever knew the truth about her intentions in London. Since she saw no reason why he needed to know, she promised herself that he never would.

She tried again. "Nevermind. It's probably best if we ignore it. Now what do you say we quit talking about Joey and start talking about us?"

She felt him smile under her lips. "Why do we need to talk at all?"


	3. Monica's List

**A/N:** This isn't connected to a specific episode, but I picture somewhere around the One with the Inappropriate Sister.

A clean apartment and dinner in the oven. Monica actually had time to read. She went to her bedroom and dug out her copy of Practical Intuition in Love. She hadn't touched it in quite awhile, but maybe there was still something useful to learn from it. As she settled on her bed and opened it, a piece of paper fell into her lap. She unfolded it and her stomach fluttered when she saw what it was. How could she have left it in there? She meant to throw it away months ago.

Monica made the list when things with Chandler were very new. Of course she remembered Ross and Rachel's list debacle, but she reasoned it was still a good exercise and she would get rid of it when she was done. But here it was, damning evidence that she liked to look for cons as well as pros in her insecure boyfriend. Well, now was the time to destroy it...after one more read through.

Immediately she saw that the pro list outnumbered the cons and she smiled. Of course they did. She knew they would even before she made the list, but it was still nice to see everything in black and white.

First on the pro list was _very sweet._ Yes, he was. He was already sweet as a friend, and now she got to experience it on another level. He was surprisingly willing to express his feelings toward her, with all but the L-word. Her smile became rueful as memories of their recent Thanksgiving disaster came to mind. He'd said it and scared himself. She egged him on that he couldn't take it back, but he hadn't said it since. Even so, she knew how he really felt.

Next on the list was _long history._ This one made her laugh because it fell under the cons list as well. There were definite pluses and minuses to knowing someone for so long before becoming romantically involved. Their friendship made it easy to talk to each other, without the awkwardness of getting to know someone new. Also, they were already established with common interests and it was simple to keep them going while incorporating them into dates. However, they each knew each other's romantic histories intimately. There was no getting around the fact that Chandler was intimidated by Richard, or that Janice had an uncanny knack for showing up in their lives. There was no way to put a favorable spin on past breakups when they had been each other's neutral third party witnesses. They couldn't get away with pinning all the blame on exes. So far, she thought they were dealing with the negative side well, while very much enjoying the positives of their long friendship.

Next came _just tall enough._ Richard so thoroughly dwarfed her that it made him hard to kiss. And sometimes she felt that the 11 inches difference in their heights emphasized the 21 years difference in their ages. She wondered at the time whether they garnered attention from strangers, not because they were a good looking couple but because they seemed mismatched. Chandler on the other hand was just right. He still had several inches on her in heels, but he was easily within reach. They fit together nicely.

Under that was _tries hard,_ and its companion on the cons side, _tries too hard._ She wrote this based on her knowledge of his past history. She'd seen him go to great lengths in previous relationships to keep his girlfriends happy. They hadn't appreciated it fully, the ingrates. This made her list before his speech in the hospital about the proper definition of fooling around. And then there was his "we owe it to sex" talk. Both were in an effort to win back her good opinion. Both succeeded. And now that it was several months later, she couldn't come up with an instance where trying too hard was a bad thing. Maybe he'd moved past it. Or maybe it just wasn't as important to her as it seemed.

 _Quick learner_ came next. Really, it was related to trying hard, but it was separate as well, because he actually had the skill to learn something new. Lots of people tried hard and never made progress. Not Chandler. He learned from his experience showboating on her coffee table. He learned how to talk to her when she was upset with him. And most of all, she knew he came into the relationship having already learned from her how to be a good lover.

No surprise then that _best sex ever_ came next on the list. As much as she hated Kathy for the way that relationship went south, she was grateful there was someone in Chandler's life who prompted him to gain some new knowledge. She was even more grateful Chandler trusted her enough to ask her for advice. They laughed about that experience now, and she of course had reenacted her tutorial several times since then, to his utterly fascinated delight.

On a whimsical note, she'd included _blue-eyed kids_ on the pros list. It wasn't so much that blue eyes were important to her. As beautiful as they were, it wouldn't have been a deal breaker. In this case, there was something about Chandler's eyes that made it easy for Monica to picture what their children would look like. It took no effort to conjure an image of Baby Daniel or Baby Emma with chubby pink cheeks, rosy little lips and large bright blue eyes with long dark lashes. In other words, she could see their future together.

That brought her to the last entry on the list, _wants happily ever after._ No matter how many times Chandler bemoaned commitment, Monica knew that deep down he desperately wanted it as part of his own happy ending. She also knew that he believed himself either incapable or unworthy of it somehow and it saddened her. However, combined with his other good qualities, she felt confident she could convince him that the fairy tale was within their reach.

Monica glanced down the other side of the paper. _Long history_ and _tries too hard_ were already basically crossed off the list, but there were still four others. _Commitmentphobe_ was first. Monica was so much less worried about this now, months later. She would wear him down little by little. Her plan was already working.

 _Too many jokes_ came next, and Monica all but blew past it. Yes, it was true, but it had always been true. It didn't now nor would it ever determine whether she wanted to be with him.

 _Manic and jumpy_ was next. Monica mulled this one over. Was it her imagination or had he been less flighty since they got together? When was the last time she saw him startle and yell when someone took him by surprise? Had he jumped up and down and gestured wildly any time recently? She couldn't think of once. It hadn't really been a horrible thing to begin with. It was part of what made him fun to be around. It was more a measure of his immaturity. And somehow, being with her had calmed him down significantly. Or maybe he was simply getting older, but Monica preferred to think she had something to do with it.

 _Awkward breakup_ was last. There were at least two layers of awkwardness if they broke up. The first had been vividly illustrated by Ross and Rachel's breakup, and that was just how tight knit their group of friends was. They would still be around each other and have to get along. They would have to watch each other move on, and if Ross and Rachel were any indication, they never truly would. The second was that their relationship still wasn't common knowledge. If they broke up when no one knew they were even going out, there would be no one to turn to for commiseration. They couldn't very well tell their friends after the fact that they'd had a secret relationship right under everyone's noses, so they would be left to deal with the consequences on their own. These points were still valid, even several months later, but the payoff Monica saw from their time together so far made the risk well worth taking.

And there it was. The whole list still validated her conclusion that Chandler was still someone she very much wanted to be with. Seeing their relationship on paper solidified just how good it all was. Maybe she should keep the list, and pull it out every once in awhile to remind herself how far they had come. Surely there was no harm in that.

Monica jumped when she heard her front door and Chandler's voice calling to her. Without a second thought she ran to her trash can and ripped the list into tiny pieces. She couldn't risk Chandler seeing it.

She made her way into the living room and watched Chandler's face light up when he saw her, and she knew she'd made the right decision. What could a list possibly tell her that wasn't right in front of her eyes already?


	4. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

**A/N:** _I wanted to update a long time ago, but morning sickness kicked me hard this time around. It's my 5th baby, so you'd think I'd have it down by now. But it turns out each kid is a new and different adventure. Anyway..._

 _This is from TOW Chandler's Work Laugh. It always seemed like a pivotal moment to me._

"Me and Chandler?! hahahaha!"

Monica retreated from her awkward conversation with Rachel. Her head was spinning, wondering if she had succeeded even a little in throwing Rachel off the trail. How much more careful could she and Chandler be? What more could they do when people started listening in on their phone conversations? Either way, she wouldn't have time to talk it over with Chandler before their dinner date with Chandler's boss. Ugh, Monica thought of one hundred places she would rather be tonight, but she was in a relationship and duty called. Besides, it was flattering how eager Chandler was to show her off. She knew part of him wanted to shout from the rooftops that they were together and events like this were as close as he could get. She already owed him a new tennis racquet. She could do this for him.

Then again, maybe she couldn't. Dinner seemed interminable between Doug's continuous lame jokes and Chandler's grating and ingratiating laugh. When their hosts left the room to get coffee, Monica let her feelings be known.

"How does that laugh not give you a headache?" she said, exasperated.

"Oh, you get used to it." he shrugged.

"Y'know, I-I-I don't think I can. So if you don't mind, I think this will be it for me on the work things."

"So I laugh at my boss's jokes. What's the big deal?"

"I'd rather not hang out with this sniveling work weasel guy when I could hang out with my boyfriend who I actually respect."

"Oh." Then Chandler did a double take, clearly startled by that last revelation. But they had no more time to discuss it before Doug returned with coffee and made a ludicrously poor joke about its strength, or lack thereof. Monica was barely listening. Why was Chandler surprised at her last comment? Did he not know she had respect for him? Before she could process that however, she became aware that Chandler let the joke go by without his signature chortle. He was grimacing awkwardly. What was he doing? To her amazement, he told his boss he didn't think the joke was funny. Oh crap. This was her fault. He couldn't jeopardize his relationship with Doug because of her. On instinct, she swallowed her pride and intervened.

"Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke." she said, and while Chandler watched nonplussed, she painfully and painstakingly explained why it was funny. In the end, the three of them had a hearty and utterly fake laugh over it.

None too soon, they made their escape. Monica's own "work laugh" was definitely giving her a headache. But so was her earlier exchange with Chandler. Guilt started to set in. Chandler didn't think she respected him. And why should he? Reluctantly, Monica replayed the past days' conversations and found herself a less-than-supportive girlfriend. Chandler wasn't happy at his job, never had been. Monica had known that for years. However, it was news to her that this laugh was one of his coping mechanisms. He hadn't shown it to any of his friends, and now Monica knew why. They would never let him hear the end of it. But who were any of them to judge? By all accounts, Doug was an awful human being to spend time with, but he was Chandler's boss. Chandler did what he needed to succeed, and by most measures, he had. He made good money, had his own office, and his own assistant. If it came at the price of some pretension, so be it. Monica needed to support him.

When they returned home, she excused herself to her own apartment to change. She briefly thought of burning the blue sweater she wore, just to erase the memories of the night, but that seemed just a bit too extreme. She made her way into Chandler's room, much more casually attired. He was equally dressed down and together they snuggled into his bed.

"You were quiet on the way home." Chandler observed.

Monica plucked the edge of the quilt, not meeting his eye. "I want you to know I do respect you, even if it doesn't always seem that way. In a way, you're the most successful of any of us."

Chandler blinked. "How do you figure?"

"Think about it." Monica said, warming to her subject. "You've held your job the longest of any of us. I've lost count how many jobs I've had in my life, but I bet it's nowhere near as many as Joey. Phoebe has a very patchy employment history with jobs that pay nothing. You yourself typed up Rachel's resume so you know how thin it is. And until recently, you were tied with Ross, but he whether he admits it or not, he is currently unemployed. And then there's you. You steady on getting steady pay at your steady job. I know you hate that job, but you've done it well enough that you're comfortable and have the most job security of any of us. That's worth a lot and I judged you unfairly. I see what you deal with now and I probably would have killed Doug years ago. Probably around the time he started slapping people on the ass."

Chandler didn't look convinced. "You really think so? I'm the only one not chasing my dream. I settled for money instead of happiness. I wouldn't even recognize my dream if it came up and told me a bad joke."

"Yes, but it's out there." she returned with sudden intensity. "You'll find it someday and you'll appreciate it that much more because you looked for it for so long. And you'll be in a great place to go after it because you've worked and saved all along. The rest of us did it while being flat broke. Don't give up. You'll get there. And in the meantime, you can keep succeeding where you are."

The adoring look in Chandler's eyes made Monica's heart flutter. She knew her passionate speeches were a weakness of his. "I wish I had half your confidence."

Monica beamed. "You can borrow mine anytime."

Chandler wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "You always seem to know what to say."

Monica's smile vanished. "Now that you mention it, there's something you should know. Rachel may be on to us. She overheard us on the phone and confronted me. She caught me flat footed and I may have, sort of, implied that you told a racist joke, once or twice…"


	5. Sink or Swim

_TOW the Girl Who Hits Joey, Monica and Chandler's first public fight._

Chandler could barely contain his agitation. "I know you! I know the thought you have in the head- in your head!"

Monica glared back at him. "You don't know everything. Did you know I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? And did you know the only baby around here is you? And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?"

With that, Monica stormed out of Chandler's apartment, across the hall, and into her own, where she let out a frustrated roar. No one answered. Good. For once, she had her apartment to herself. Seething, she pulled out the vacuum and began attacking unsuspecting dust in the corners of the living room. The noise meant she could groan and growl as much as she wanted. How dare he. How dare he assume she would change things just because they were out in the open now. Ruefully, she congratulated herself on foreseeing this when their relationship was new. At the time, she fully expected a scenario just like this if their friends even caught a whiff of what was going on. But to have it now, months into what was objectively a solid relationship was too much. She'd had it.

When she could no longer find anything to clean in the main room, she moved on to her bedroom. She also shifted some of her anger to their friends. Why did they have to tease each other? And why Chandler in particular? They all knew he could dish it out, but taking it was another story. Ross and Joey arguing over who would be godfather. Why? They had to know that would shake Chandler. Phoebe was less of a surprise. She was always tactless and seemed to be growing more so. But Rachel and her wedding plans. Oh, Rachel really should have known better. Hadn't the two of them sat vigil with Chandler through every relationship crisis over the last five years? Rachel knew his triggers almost as well as Monica did. What was she thinking pushing him like that?

Monica was putting the vacuum away when Rachel came home. "Ready to go? Office Space antics are waiting for us!"

"Yeah, just let me grab my coat." Monica didn't meet her eye.

"Everything okay?" Rachel asked.

"Sure. Why wouldn't it be?" Now wasn't the time to get into it.

"If you say so," Rachel shrugged, not at all convinced.

Rachel made small talk on the way over, with Monica answering in monosyllables, her anger simmering just below the surface. It wasn't until they were seated in the theater waiting for the movie to start that it finally boiled over.

"Why all the talk about marriage and kids? Chandler and I are out in the open for five minutes and that's the very first thing topic of conversation? You knew it would set Chandler off. You had no right!"

Rachel watched, wide eyed. "What? We always tease each other! It's not like I was the only one there!"

"But some things are off limits! We never make fun of you and Ross for your past. We never make light of Phoebe's messed up family. And we never joke about Chandler and marriage. You should know better than anyone what he's like when he freaks out! Why did you even add to it?"

Rachel sat back, stunned. "Wow. Okay, honey, I love you, and I love Chandler. But you and I both know that he needs to grow up. The world doesn't owe him special treatment just because his parents got divorced."

"It's not just the divorce!" Monica shot back. "He's been cheated on, rejected, had his heart broken, and you were there! You saw it all!"

"Mon," Rachel said with forced calm. "If you want to treat Chandler like a fragile little kid, that's your business. But don't expect the rest of us to do the same. He's a big boy. He can figure this out."

Monica flinched, stung by the truth in Rachel's words. She turned toward the movie screen and set her jaw.

"You know I'm right." Rachel added quietly.

"Let's just watch the movie." Monica said through clenched teeth.

However, Monica couldn't watch the movie. She couldn't laugh along with the rest of the audience. She couldn't even take notice of the character who bore an uncanny resemblance to Rachel, nor notice Rachel's exclamations every time her doppleganger came on screen. She couldn't let go of their conversation. Maybe Rachel was right. Maybe she had been coddling Chandler and it was time for him to sink or swim. She found herself cataloging her actions over the last several months. There were bald-faced lies, especially to Rachel, who could have had a front row seat. There were countless late nights and accumulated lost sleep as they tried to sneak in some time together. She cringed thinking about dancing with a turkey on her head, trying to appease Chandler after his Thanksgiving tantrum. She groaned thinking about taking the fall for the whole underwear/naked picture disaster. She didn't even want to recall sacrificing time, energy, and possibly brain cells laughing along with Chandler and his horrible boss.

On top of it all, so often, she felt like she was walking on eggshells around him. She couldn't even idly talk about their future for fear that it would scare him. In fact, she shielded him from anyone talking about his relationship status. For the first time in years, he was eerily silent on the subject of his dating life, and it hadn't gone unnoticed. Monica was always on high alert for when the topic would arise so she could deflect.

No wonder she blew up at Chandler. She was exhausted. All the patience she had lavished on him over the last several months was had finally run out. Reluctantly, Monica wondered if it was even worth it to salvage what they had, but that thought didn't last long. Her list came to mind, and she knew everything on it was still valid. More still, she could add to the list that she loved him. There was no question about that. She loved him in a way she'd never loved anyone else. And now he had as much as declared to the world that he loved her too. But she could no longer carry this relationship single handedly. She needed him to pull his own weight.

Monica became aware that the movie was over, and that Rachel was prattling on about seeing "herself" on screen. Finally Rachel's voice penetrated the fog.

"Hey, are you still mad at me?"

Monica sighed. "Not really."

"Did you have anyone to talk to about Chandler before it all came out?"

Monica snorted. "Not really." She repeated.

"Do you want to talk now?"

Monica shook her head, which was starting to ache. "No, I just want to go home and go to bed."

"You're not even going to see Chandler?"

"Not tonight. He can stew in his own juices for now."

Rachel's smug, self-satisfied look didn't escape Monica's notice, and it irritated her a little, but she didn't have the energy to pursue it any further. She turned over in her mind how much, if anything, she should tell Chandler. If she told him what she needed from him, that would only perpetuate the pattern she had begun months ago. On the other hand, if she left him to his own devices, how long would it take for him to make an appropriate move?

She still hadn't come to any conclusions the next morning when she ran into him at the coffee house. When he asked point blank what he needed to do to make things right, that settled the question in her mind. It was time to walk away and let him work it out. She immediately felt guilty seeing the shocked and slightly hurt look on his face, but she felt confident it was the right thing to do.

That night, no one seemed to know where Chandler was. Joey and Ross only knew he had to do "a thing." Meanwhile, they all settled into a card game, just in time for Chandler to come barreling through the door, so worked up he didn't even see Monica. She watched in horrified fascination as he got down on one knee and proposed, diamond ring and all. While he earnestly floundered his way through several questionable reasons they should get married, Monica felt any anger and frustration toward him melt away. The sink or swim plan wasn't working. Chandler was drowning and Monica wanted nothing more than to rescue him.

And just like that, their first outwardly acknowledged fight was over with comparatively little drama. Chandler was clearly relieved to be back in Monica's good graces, and not to have to rely on sketchy advice from Two Divorces and Joey. While the rest of their friends gathered around to scrutinize the ring Chandler bought last minute, Chandler and Monica cuddled up on the couch together.

"So we're okay?" Chandler murmured.

Monica smiled. "Yeah, I couldn't stay mad at you forever. You're too cute."

Chandler grinned and kissed her on the temple. "Thank God. I promise I won't be a baby anymore."

"Oh, don't say that," Monica replied mischievously as she grazed a finger down his long nose. "It might be fun, and you know how much I love babies."

Chandler's facial expression went through several levels of realization and implication, each one making Monica laugh harder. Yes, they would be okay. They were worth every ounce of effort.

A/N: By happy coincidence, Office Space came out the same weekend this episode first aired. I know it didn't get much attention at the time, but I couldn't resist having them see a movie with Jennifer Aniston in it. Thank you all for the kind reviews. I'm not quite sure where to go with this next, but I have a couple of partial ideas I'll play with.


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